When it comes to making good investment decisions I'm not exactly Alan Kohler but the last few days have been particularly bad for me... in fact I think I have had a little economic meltdown. So here's two tips for the would-be Chicago investor who doesn't like financial ruin: 1. avoid cloak rooms; and 2. don't park downtown.

Cloak room stocks downgraded.
I have always considered the cloak room to be a relatively sensible investment and the $2 Metro were charging on Wednesday night seemed like a steal. However I'm downgrading the rating from buy to hold because sometime after I received my coat in that crowded room, my wallet was stolen. Whether it was filched from my pocket or not handed to the cloak room attendant after I dropped it doesn't really matter. I lost about 150 clams and all of my cards which was a big bummer.

Downtown parking underperforming significantly.
Finding street parking downtown is like winning lotto and new year's eve was the night of the bonus draw. So I thought I would make a smart buy and go for one of those parking lots outside the Wrigley Field stadium operated by men wearing red jackets. The fee was a little steep at $15 but I didn't want to walk 10 blocks and arrive at the party only to find out that it was already 2006. So after I was directed into my parking spot I asked the parking man how long can I park here. He said until 12 o'clock which I said was fine because I assumed he meant noon the next day and not midnight!

I imagine on that night there was a driver waiting in his truck next to the home of the Cubs with his in-vehicle TV tuned to the countdown. When the he saw the ball drop in times square and the fireworks starting, he lit a Camel cigarette, stepped out of the cabin, and began loading my car onto the back of his tow truck. My Pontiac was going to the big house.

So anyway another year passed by and the next morning I stepped out of Al's house onto the beautiful Chicago street and strolled through the town back to Wrigley field trying to memorise the names of people I'd met and contemplating with a wry smile all the rather silly things I'd done that night. I was feeling 1,000,000 AUD. Then when I saw the empty car park -- save one police car -- my heart sank. I asked the police officer where my car might be and he said to ring the phone number written on the "Private Property No Parking" sign. He then helpfully added that my car might not be impounded; it could instead just be stolen.

Aussie mates: long term buy.
My market advice to you is that equity in Aussie mates is still a top pick. I gave Jason a call and he kindly drove all the way from Wildwood, delivered me to car jail, and financed my car's $150 bail fee. All this after he had just come back from Michigan. While I was waiting I hung out with Ron at Maccas, ate some fries (they are just the same as Australian fries unfortunately), and read the Chicago Sun-Times. There was an interesting article about the word "only", and another one about blogging which I will write about later.

So that's the market wrap for today the 2nd of January 2006. If you are wondering who is the bloke with sad look, then I will tell you he is Seneca, a Roman philosopher. A while back I saw a fascinating show about happiness and philosophy on our ABC, and Seneca was mentioned. He is part of a group of philosophers called the stoics, who argue that the world is essentially good because it exists and is created by God. His logic was that it is impossible to substantially change the world around you, so the only way you can be happy is to change your own mind, which you have complete control over. Seneca's way of dealing with my situation might have been to hope the wallet thief bought some good crack and then maybe just shrug his shoulders when his car got towed. It happened, therefore it is good. If you're wondering how Seneca died, well the emperor Nero thought Seneca was plotting against him, and so ordered his execution. Upon hearing this news (from the soldiers that arrived at his house), Seneca happily drank poison.

I prefer a more modern philosophy, one drawn from the new doctrine of marketing and consumerism. It preaches that (with a few small exceptions) the more money you expend, the happier you become. That is, "There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's MasterCard."